In my spiritual development, I have gained an appreciation of my feminity and gentleness. God taught me that. I watched myself change over the years from someone who thought that being born female meant automatic feminity. Not true. The principle is the same for men. Just because you were born a male doesn’t mean that you have automatically inherited the qualities and virtues to be a Man.
A boy learns from his father how to be a real Man. If the father doesn’t know and isn’t one himself, there is no way in hell he can teach his son something he hasn’t got and doesn’t know. Same for the daughters and mothers of this world. The inner values, right attitudes, perspectives, strength of character, integrity, honour and all the subtleties and varied aspects of such lessons all have to be taught and learnt by both daughters and sons in order that they grow up to be the Men and Women they should be.
No parent can teach what they do not have, were never taught themselves and therefore, never knew. That is simple common sense. So hence, in this day and age, you see numerous teenage hooligans roaming the streets filled with rage and anger at everything, hitting out at anything, completely without any manners or morals. They are totally lacking in any discipline whatsoever and worst of all, they do not have boundaries in what they say or do, and do not know right from wrong. How did they become so? It all starts with the parents.
Young children do not have the breadth of vocabulary and the mental and emotional maturity to express their feelings and thoughts properly. When parents do not do right by their children, the children know it in their subconscious and then they act out. If children are not taught and shown boundaries and discipline, they know something is not right and then they act out. They are not aware enough to tell you that you are not doing your job right as parents and/or point out to you what you have failed to do. All they know is that something is not right and their parents have failed to address the problem. So acting out is a child’s way of crying for help and telling you that something is wrong.
In certain countries in the West, they believe in giving the child a ‘natural’ upbringing. There is no such thing. Even animals cuff their cubs about the ears if they misbehave. Every child needs to be given and taught boundaries. Letting them grow up ‘naturally’ is akin to suicide. That is how hooligans are bred. No matter how naturally you try to bring up a child, you still have to teach them manners, right from wrong, boundaries and so on. So where is the natural? Wolf child is natural and see where that led to.
I remember hearing this story once. A man was talking about his upbringing, “I would rather my mother had disciplined me in my childhood and taught me right from wrong, and given me boundaries rather than let me run riot and ruin my life in adulthood.” Those were the words of regret from a man who grew up without boundaries and discipline. His was a ‘natural’ upbringing. His mother was afraid to discipline him as a child because she didn’t want to lose his love. Her’s was a selfish decision, not born of real love.
If you really love your children, then do right by them. Don’t fail them in your duty of care. That way, they will grow up right and nobody will have to moan about the horrible state of our youth today and we will have well adjusted young adults.
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